New mums struggle with 'myths of motherhood'

First time mothers’ romanticised expectations of motherhood can leave them feeling unprepared for the reality, a Massey University researcher says.

One in five women experience postnatal depression and an even greater number face anxiety, as they struggle with the transition to motherhood.

Dr Anita Darrah examined postnatal distress – which includes depression, anxiety, and stress – in her doctoral thesis, titled The Distressing Case of Modern Mothering.

More than 180 women were involved in the study, which found misconceptions and myths about motherhood created unrealistic expectations. “What many women are saying is, ‘It wasn’t what I was expecting’,” Dr Darrah says.

While many loved being mothers, they resented being viewed as “just a mother”. They often took on idealised beliefs on what made a good mother, from having a clean house to having baking in the pantry, and had feelings of failure when they did not live up to expectations.

She also found that young women without children tended to hold overly positive views of motherhood.

Dr Darrah’s research found a discrepancy between women’s expectations and their subsequent experiences of motherhood, and she says this disparity can lead to postnatal distress.

Intervention largely focused on treatment of symptoms, so Dr Darrah designed and piloted a new model of preventative intervention.

It comprises of three group sessions with first-time mothers during pregnancy, and helps them to develop their own parenting values and beliefs.

Dr Darrah says women need to identify their stress and make a plan, before it becomes a problem. “The message is, it is going to be different and different is OK. It’s OK to struggle and it’s OK to ask for help.”

Her own struggle with postnatal depression inspired her research and after six years of study, Dr Darrah graduated with her doctorate today (Wednesday).

She is now a clinical psychologist for Whanganui District Health Board working with children and adolescents. “My passion is mums and kids,” she says.